Cafe de Queue de Rat

This is from February, or possibly early March. I was on a lunch break from my job as a receptionist at a bourgeoisie gyno clinic in Ballard, and braved it through the drizzle to Caffe Fiore. There I found not only vegan scones, but also this amazing rat tail/one-inch-wide mullet! In Ballard! Who knew??

The folks at this table may have been a little weirded out when I was creepin them from across the room, but they were very friendly once I explained that I wasn't a creep, just a rat tail fanatic.

Points for having taper for days, being in a surprising location, and the fact that this actually is kind of just a tiny side mullet. See how it goes all the way up? How lovely!

Keeping Summer Alive on the Metro Transit 49

Spotted January 29th, 2011:

What are the ethics of sneaky camera phone pictures? I dabbled with this question for a moment before deciding this was too fierce of tail to pass up, and too early in the morning to talk to a stranger about their hair-do.

Despite it's faded appearance, this tail seemed freshly washed and well-kept. Take this image, and multiply the silkiness by a factor of 7. Then multiply by the early-morning bus ride factor. Answer:

Sourpatch Curl Supreme

This beautiful tail was spotted on April 8th at 2020 cycles, bobbing along on the shoulders of one member of the tremendously adorable band Sourpatch. Details are fuzzy as this sighting was eight months ago now, but I do remember cornering said band member in the back hallway and leading them to stand under a dim light to better capture this on my cell phone camera. I believe they let me do a little finger-curl styling as well *gushes*!

6 months of hot tail action!

life's been busy and i have been incredibly neglectful of rattail dreams. i started feeling like a creep, continuing to take pictures of people's tails without ever actually posting them. so, here you go!

january 1st, 2009:

aidan koch submitted these pictures of her sister zerrin. points for fluffiness. this is like one of those animal shoulder wraps where the animal is biting its own tail . except no animals were harmed to make this shoulder wrap. 100% vegan! i'm loving it.

also points for corresponding bowl cut.



february 16th, 2009:


points for most succinct rattail. there is no extra fuss going on here, pure short haircut, but with a bold yet controlled tail perfectly centered. also points for looking so good when cutting loose! rebecca also got married with her rattail intact. if anyone has pictures of that, please submit!





february 17th, 2009:

jessica james had a crazy rattail. it was long enough for locks of love. when she unbraided it it looked like a jellyfish floating around and waiting to sting someone. points for jellyfish crimp style.



february 27th, 2009:

my band braidstorm played at the february club pop, an all ages night at the club chop suey, on capitol hill in seattle. i was really excited because there were lots of metropolitan underagers freak dancing to our band. the night got even more exciting when i saw these two ladies hanging out, together, with matching rattails! friends? lovers? one-night-stand-to-be? no matter, everyone should have a tail-mate.




march 8th, 2009:

emily (of TacocaT fame) grew this orange beauty. sometimes it would be curly, sometimes sporty, sometimes wispy. it always looked good. and then it got the chop to make room for a new, thicker tail.


RIP lil orangey, may your successor be just as bold and beautiful!



march 13th, 2009:

my band braidstorm played a show at da punx palace in portland. i don't remember who this person is, but the tail gets points for lushness and shine. very healthy looking hair. recommended action: clean up the rest of the back to accentuate the beavertail action.



march 14th, 2009:

here's another portland tail, submitted by zac parker. i dream of seeing tails like this in person. points for gentle swoop and casual yet substantial length. additional points for bike helmet and bridges in the background. i love portland. did you hear that portland? I LOVE YOU!





May 17th, 2009:

i encountered this fine two-tone tail at the bikery in seattle. points for being the most dreamy tail i've seen in the last six months. if i updated more regularly, this would definitely be tail of the week. can you see the blonde and brown intertwined? and the loose braidwork really accentuates the length and freedom this tail is obviously enjoying. this is what i call a dreamtail.




May 23rd, 2009:

here’s another two-tone tail. i encountered this one at dancylvania. this is like the dressed-down version of dreamtail.



May 23rd, 2009:

also at dancylvania, johhny’s red/brown sea anemone tail tuft. points for original design and smashing color combo!



June 11th, 2009:


i encountered this classic braidtail at all ages venue the northern in olympia. points for bulky braid tie-off and adorable end-curl. additional points for colorful headband accessorizing.




it was 95 degrees today. STAY TUNED FOR MORE HOT TAIL ACTION SOON!

SPECIAL GRAVEYARD EDITION

a few months ago i got this really cool package in the mail. i was really excited about getting mail - it was my first package at my new house in seattle! but holy mother of dogs, inside was pure carnage. a rat tail - devastatingly dead, beautifully braided. as zac pointed out, this was a poignant end to the saga, as i was the one who cut it and first braided it. the circle of life. see pervious entries for "in the flesh" action shots of the tail as it once was.

RIP ZAC'S RATTAIL: have fun getting a "real job"



my roommate lucas didn't have the presence of mind to braid his beauty. now it hangs on a dying christmas tree, another very poignant end to a well documented tail.

RIP LUCAS SHRED/TAIL/WHISP/ORNAMENT: have fun with a cold neck



UPDATES!

eli's twisty-tail:

still going strong - here you can see it's full length. i went to a cat show today in portland, and they held out cat tails like this to examine them. it was weird, because it was a real animal tail and not a hair cut element. anyways, good work eli, you are growing a truly admirable lock!



sam's seattle deluxe dread-tail:

it seemed slightly shorter and thinner than when it made it's first blog appearance in august, but looking pretty darn good for a dread-tail, which seem to have a relatively short shelf life. being less cuddly than your average tail, dread-tails seem get a lot less love from the general populous. way to go sam, keep the dream alive!



tracey's philly side-tail dream:

looking thicker and more robust than when it first entered the blog-o-sphere last march. points for adroit braid-work and longevity of the tail-style!



NEW FINDS!

i went to cambodia and only saw one rattail, and it was totally an blonde extension braid, being sported by a very sporty and possibly australian tourist. the blurriness is the bus window getting in the way. i hear thailand has more rattails. cambodia was cool, but only had real rats.



i also found some perviously undocumented tails at the iji/math the bad/world history show at healthy times fun club the other week!

grunge-tail:

points for robust wispiness and two-tone coloring.



temple-tail:

this golden gem of tail was spotted late november at chilladelphia. points for unique above the ear placement, and tail-accentuating hairstlye.



oh, and here's my new tail. this is the fourth wave of tail evolution, going on almost two years of various forms of tail action! it was really hot in cambodia and i cut off all my hair. i momentarily forgot i was trying to grow it out over the winter. i'm kind of cold now, but i have a new middle tail that i'm fairly pleased about. i've never had a middle tail before, and while it feels good to have the classic tail positioning going on, i really miss the over-the-shoulder action i've become accustomed to. it was too soon to say goodbye!

the rattail: perfect autumn-neckwarmer, shoulder-companion, and date-getter

SAY HELLO TO SEATTLE//PORTLAND//CANADA//NYC!

my goodness it's been a while. i've been toiling away at my totally tail-less university, which has left me with little time to attend to the finer things in life. those things being this blog and my own sorry looking rattail which is suffering a bit of an identity crisis which i may delve into later BUT FIRST let's get down to business:

Well actually first CHECK THIS OUT for some real rattail facts!

in early october my friend moira visited from new york city. apparently rattails are not socially acceptable there (yet). weird, right? i too was shocked by this news, but my feeling of disbelief was quickly replaced by strong west coast pride. it's the land of the tail, doggies! moira needed a hair cut while she was in seattle, and while i was more than happy to help out she was a bit resistant to my stipulation that any hair cut i give include a rattail.

it's against my moral code to cut off what is or could grow to be a tail,

i just wouldn't feel right about it. moira consented, but i think she thought it was gross. however, after a day or two, i think she realized it was such a good look. while not convinced to let it grow to full tail status, she did agree to keep it through her portland visit. i said this was a good idea, it would help her blend in.



this total classic was spotted in the capitol hill value village in mid september. points for no nonsense.



this was eli's rattail in mid october. points for ultimate curl status. check back for an update, this tail has doubled in curl since this picture was taken!



rebecca's rattail. points for total softness and respectable length. suggestion: length ratio could be improved by buzzing the rest of the head.



a canadian rattail! merida visited and brought this little cutie down with her. points for adroit braid work and overall adorableness.



multi-layer tail sighted at a beacon hill house warming party. points for complex layering, respectable length, and major volume! a prime example of how to have a tail without feeling regulated to a spindly little thing. nice work!



UPDATES:

lucas's shred, now decidedly more tail like. points for successful conversion. suggestion: keep braided.


SUBMISSIONS:

the following three tails were received as a series of (inebriated) text messages from a dear portland friend and fellow rattail enthusiast paul billy. visiting friends of his i believe, though the written content of the corresponding messages was a bit hard to follow. paul, if you are reading this, please could you rehash the home bases and any fun anecdotes about these treasures?





this pink dream was submitted by sam diego:

"I found this one in Oly at the Good Luck show. I couldn't resist capturing it for you. They're like Pokemon or something...weird."

nice catch, sam! points for matching tail and outfit, and good length ratio. suggestions: braid it! see how it's separated into three strands? that's a tail begging for it if i ever saw one!



THE END.

except for this really amazing and fucked up rattail related thing that happened to me yesterday that i am not yet ready to talk about. EXPECT HIGH EMOTIONS AND GRUESOME PICTURES SOON!

the spanish: GLOBAL TAIL CHAMPIONS!

in september i went to spain. i was sure that there wouldn't see a single tail for two long weeks, but lo and behold! if it wasn't for the wild ponies frolicking on hillsides and a severe lack of vegan snacks, i would have thought i was in portland!

please excuse the poor quality of the following pictures. i'm generally competent in spanish, but didn't feel quite up to approaching people about taking a picture of their hair. all of these were just caught in passing, i spent a lot of time pretending to take pictures of random buildings and signs to get these little dreams in the shot. my family got pretty stoked on it too, and started tail-scouting for me and would try to stand near them so i could look legit taking pictures. it was amazing.

consider:

stopped in a small town on our way to pamplona, saw a small girl on her way to pelota practice with her dad. first rat tail sighting! saw another on a little boy zooming by on a bmx later that day. this was the only girl i saw with a rat tail. weird, right?

redheaded dream child outside the gugenheim in bilbao. his family was going into the museum at the same time we were, and i was totally distracted the whole time. the museum was totally totally amazing, and we sort of crashed a rental car. rat tail on a red head! THAT'S MY KIN!


this masterful buzz/curl job was spotted at the baggage claim in the madrid airport, en route to santiago de compostela.


shave/curl job, incredible length totally not captured on film. also in santiago de compostela. this was the tail hotbed, mostly on the buskers, of which there were a million, on every street corner and creeping out of alleys and stuff. i think they were on a set schedule rotation or something. didgeridoo, cellos, accordions, guitars, ukuleles, etc. really cool!


i swear this is not just a curl sticking out! this guy was not a busker, just a spanish tourist.


BALDING TAIL! best of the trip! hands down. amazing. and the pants!


in the airport coming home, saw this little gem going the other direction on the moving walkway. tail consisted of a totally perfect inch and a half thick ringlet. not even joking. thickest ringlet ever! amazing idea for tail composition. well done!


and that's spain. there were more pictures, but these were the only ones that really turned out. i'll be posting way more regularly now, got a whole back log of pictures i've taken since i've been home, but i had to get this set out first. also the rat tail family tree zine is now in the works, illustrated by the dear mr. charm.

until next time, keep the rat tail dream alive!