Thursday, November 20, 2008

the rattail: perfect autumn-neckwarmer, shoulder-companion, and date-getter


SAY HELLO TO SEATTLE//PORTLAND//CANADA//NYC!

my goodness it's been a while. i've been toiling away at my totally tail-less university, which has left me with little time to attend to the finer things in life. those things being this blog and my own sorry looking rattail which is suffering a bit of an identity crisis which i may delve into later BUT FIRST let's get down to business:

Well actually first CHECK THIS OUT for some real rattail facts!

in early october my friend moira visited from new york city. apparently rattails are not socially acceptable there (yet). weird, right? i too was shocked by this news, but my feeling of disbelief was quickly replaced by strong west coast pride. it's the land of the tail, doggies! moira needed a hair cut while she was in seattle, and while i was more than happy to help out she was a bit resistant to my stipulation that any hair cut i give include a rattail.

it's against my moral code to cut off what is or could grow to be a tail,

i just wouldn't feel right about it. moira consented, but i think she thought it was gross. however, after a day or two, i think she realized it was such a good look. while not convinced to let it grow to full tail status, she did agree to keep it through her portland visit. i said this was a good idea, it would help her blend in.



this total classic was spotted in the capitol hill value village in mid september. points for no nonsense.



this was eli's rattail in mid october. points for ultimate curl status. check back for an update, this tail has doubled in curl since this picture was taken!



rebecca's rattail. points for total softness and respectable length. suggestion: length ratio could be improved by buzzing the rest of the head.



a canadian rattail! merida visited and brought this little cutie down with her. points for adroit braid work and overall adorableness.



multi-layer tail sighted at a beacon hill house warming party. points for complex layering, respectable length, and major volume! a prime example of how to have a tail without feeling regulated to a spindly little thing. nice work!



UPDATES:

lucas's shred, now decidedly more tail like. points for successful conversion. suggestion: keep braided.


SUBMISSIONS:

the following three tails were received as a series of (inebriated) text messages from a dear portland friend and fellow rattail enthusiast paul billy. visiting friends of his i believe, though the written content of the corresponding messages was a bit hard to follow. paul, if you are reading this, please could you rehash the home bases and any fun anecdotes about these treasures?





this pink dream was submitted by sam diego:

"I found this one in Oly at the Good Luck show. I couldn't resist capturing it for you. They're like Pokemon or something...weird."

nice catch, sam! points for matching tail and outfit, and good length ratio. suggestions: braid it! see how it's separated into three strands? that's a tail begging for it if i ever saw one!



THE END.

except for this really amazing and fucked up rattail related thing that happened to me yesterday that i am not yet ready to talk about. EXPECT HIGH EMOTIONS AND GRUESOME PICTURES SOON!

Monday, October 13, 2008

the spanish: GLOBAL TAIL CHAMPIONS!

in september i went to spain. i was sure that there wouldn't see a single tail for two long weeks, but lo and behold! if it wasn't for the wild ponies frolicking on hillsides and a severe lack of vegan snacks, i would have thought i was in portland!

please excuse the poor quality of the following pictures. i'm generally competent in spanish, but didn't feel quite up to approaching people about taking a picture of their hair. all of these were just caught in passing, i spent a lot of time pretending to take pictures of random buildings and signs to get these little dreams in the shot. my family got pretty stoked on it too, and started tail-scouting for me and would try to stand near them so i could look legit taking pictures. it was amazing.

consider:

stopped in a small town on our way to pamplona, saw a small girl on her way to pelota practice with her dad. first rat tail sighting! saw another on a little boy zooming by on a bmx later that day. this was the only girl i saw with a rat tail. weird, right?

redheaded dream child outside the gugenheim in bilbao. his family was going into the museum at the same time we were, and i was totally distracted the whole time. the museum was totally totally amazing, and we sort of crashed a rental car. rat tail on a red head! THAT'S MY KIN!


this masterful buzz/curl job was spotted at the baggage claim in the madrid airport, en route to santiago de compostela.


shave/curl job, incredible length totally not captured on film. also in santiago de compostela. this was the tail hotbed, mostly on the buskers, of which there were a million, on every street corner and creeping out of alleys and stuff. i think they were on a set schedule rotation or something. didgeridoo, cellos, accordions, guitars, ukuleles, etc. really cool!


i swear this is not just a curl sticking out! this guy was not a busker, just a spanish tourist.


BALDING TAIL! best of the trip! hands down. amazing. and the pants!


in the airport coming home, saw this little gem going the other direction on the moving walkway. tail consisted of a totally perfect inch and a half thick ringlet. not even joking. thickest ringlet ever! amazing idea for tail composition. well done!


and that's spain. there were more pictures, but these were the only ones that really turned out. i'll be posting way more regularly now, got a whole back log of pictures i've taken since i've been home, but i had to get this set out first. also the rat tail family tree zine is now in the works, illustrated by the dear mr. charm.

until next time, keep the rat tail dream alive!

Monday, September 1, 2008

portland zine symposium & beyond!

first of all, hairstyles aside, the zine symposium was totally rad! it was last weekend, august 23rd and 24th, at Portland State University. i didn't make it to any of the workshops, but just checking out all the tables was pretty inspiring. other highlights included the multnomah county library taking free polaroids of people with a giant library card, tasty donated vegan cookies, and getting to see all the amazing art and words of my friends in the Boss Level Collective.

as i predicted, PZS was creepin and crawlin with tails - lots of extreme length and friendly folks getting psyced about having their picture taken.


The Silky Swirl
points for length, thickness, completely perfect twirl, and general locks-of-love worthiness.



The Extra-Long Padawan Braid
this one hardly fits in the frame! points for adroit braidwork - if i had a lightsaber i'd have totally chopped this one off for my collection.



Muscle Braid
another extra-long, classic tail. damn, these PZS folks are so dedicated to their tails, the concentration of tail length here was unmatched by any other event or location i've encountered! this is the kind of tail i'd be tempted to play with if i was sitting behind this lady on the bus and wasn't sure she could totally rip my hands off.



Secret Tail
way better without the hat! standard portland bleach job.




in other news, outside of the PZS, tails still abound:

Lucas' shred is flushing out nicely and has started passing for a tail. when he came down from Seattle for PZS i gave the rest of his hair a little trim to help accentuate the lushness. with proper styling attention, the shred becomes a proper cutie curl!



Drew also came down for PZS - while he was busy stapling hundreds of copies of his travel zine i took this picture of his curly halfhawk, sea anemone, tail tuft thing. points for stylishly resisting classification!



this was sent via text message from the ever vigalint Paul Billy, who had the great fortune of sitting behind this gentlemen in a "share the road" class. since the fake shutter noise on cell phones seems to be impossible to turn off, this was an admittedly dangerous tail to catch on camera. Paul gets the biggest kudos for braving possible death to capture this rare gem!



this tail was also sent in via text message, coming all the way from Arielle in Chicago. although it's rather blury, let this be a reminder that the midwest ain't all bad fashion...



UPDATES

Zac's tail (see 8/12/08) has gotten long enough to braid, and is looking real classy (and a little sassy with that minty hair band).



Ethan missed his tail too much (see 7/19/08) and realized he needed to grow another one to keep him company throughout the long, cold, boring winter. not so long, boring, or cold now, is it?? welcome back little dude!






oh, and here is the MOST AMAZING RAT TAIL IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!
aka, tail of the week. spotted at the farmer's market in the PSU park blocks. pure genius!





UP NEXT:

i am going to spain for two weeks, and don't have high hopes of seeing any rat tails while abroad. however, i am going to start working on a comprehensive system of classification for rat tails, mullets, shreds, ducktails, padawan braids, etc. perhaps a family tree? let me know of any related styles you haven't seen on this blog but feel should be included.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

10 TAILS 1 POST

SEATTLE!

at first i wasn't sure what i'd find, but it only took a week in Seattle to realize that not only does the city have a thriving rat tail population, it even has its own distinct regional tail style! in Portland i see a lot of thick feathered tails and fat little tail curls, but Seattle has a whole different thing going on.

here are two primo examples of Seattle tails -- long and skinny, often braided (or dreaded, or BOTH!), and embodied by simplicity of style and attention to length:

Jessica James' Seattle Braid:



Angela's Midlength Seattle Braid:



most people are pretty stoked about having their rat tail photographed for a blog. i took the above pictures at show at the Holy Mountain (ex Booty Cave), where Bow & Arrow, Alaskas, Bad Dudes, and Purple Rhinestone Eagle were playing.

during the show i saw this guy who had a cool braided and doubled up side tail. when i asked if i could take a picture of it for my blog he said he didn't support blogs (which, uhh, whatever that's cool i guess), but when i countered that it was a RATTAIL BLOG and therefore inherently cooler than your average blog, he said that what he had was actually NOT a tail but a "sweat slick" or something totally crazy like that! i have no idea what he actually called it, but i think he had one on each side and maybe it was just some long hair braided into little pigtails but MAYBE it is a whole new hair style! so stay alert and let me know if you see this dude or anyone else with "sweat slicks"...

but, anyways:

Sam's Seattle Deluxe
points for incredible length, which shows obvious dedication to the rat tail lifestyle.



Elias' Rat Dread
points for remarkable blondness in comparison to the rest of his hair. bleach job or natural tail-light?



Ema's Portland-style duck tail:



speaking of Portland... i'm back in the city of roses for two weeks, bumming around and getting naked in people's backyards and taking pictures of rattails and stuff. last night i stopped by Vendetta (on Williams and Skidmore in the NE) and encountered these two fine tails:

Whispy Fan Tail
this guy's lackadaisical looking tail gets big points for nonchalant fanned out style and apparent silkiness! i'm generally a pretty big fan of the tightly tucked and curled tail, but this is a pretty convincing argument in favor of free-flowing-ness and neck whisps. a close second for tail of the week!



Classic Western Tail
points for overall spunkiness and classic-ness.



this morning i saw two really cute tails on Mississippi street, but missed the opportunity to photograph either of them. the first was a lady sitting on the sidewalk - i doubled back on my bike but she was talking on her cell phone and i wasn't THAT dedicated. the second was a sweet blond feathered tail on some guy at the waffle cart - i thought it was maybe just long hair that i was tricking myself into thinking was a tail, but as he was walking away i realized my awful mistake! noooo!

but, 10 tails is enough for one post, i suppose.

UPDATES

Kyle May's tail, previously featured as California's only saving grace, made a guest appearance in Seattle and has literally DOUBLED IN AWESOMENESS! nice braid work!



TAIL ALERTS!

tis the season to start growing a tail of your own. tail buds are still totally respectable, after all everyone has to start somewhere.

Kathryn's tail bud has a lot of potential, and a small braid or a few festively colored beads would really help accentuate it.



and finally...

HOLY SHIT, i don't know if this is a braid, a dread, or what but it actually looks like Naomi chopped off the tail of a beautiful animal and sewed it into her scalp. absolutely hands down TAIL OF THE WEEK!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

venturing outside the pacific north west only to discover that....

THERE ARE NO RATTAILS IN CALIFORNIA!!!

i went to San Francisco, which i had naively assumed would be host to the vanguard of california-dreamy tail-sporters.

NOTHING!

ok, i saw one totally legit cutie with a true-blood cutie curl going down the steps at Green Apple Books on Clement street, but my camera battery was dead and i thought it might be a little more awkward to ask if i could like, draw a picture of his rattail?

one cool thing that california did have was this fake clip on rat tail that was hanging out at clark, abe, and anton's place. this is for the transitory hipster who is not ready to commit! we braided it and took it to the beach.




kyle may was the sunshine state's only saving grace, he's got a sporty little number which can easily be tucked up into the curls, or finger-combed down for full tail exposure.



BACK IN PORTLAND>>>>>

tails abound! hot damn was i glad to get home.

over at the 0% house folks have been reppin' tails with proper summer enthusiasm.

zac's got a brand new tail (don't mind saying i had a hand in the shaping of this one). welcome to the club, wear it with pride!



amanda has a goldilocks mouse tail in a totally perfect fish-hook curl - points for best form!



this young woman at the tiki/karaoke bar the Alibi was a bit hesitant to let me photograph her rainbow beaded rattail, and it's possible she thought i was trying to hit on her. really i was just enamored by the choice bead work (heart shaped!!!) and am awarding her with TAIL OF THE WEEK!!!



UP NEXT:

i moved to seattle this week and have already seen like a bazillion amazing rattails! stay tuned to the premier internet rat tail blog for upcoming profiles o TAILS FROM THE ZONE!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

more dekum tails

stopped by another show at Dekum Manor last night. to be totally honest, i didn't really give a shit about the bands that were playing, and it was so packed i couldn't get in to the living room to see them anyways. however, there were so many fine tails there last time, i wanted to run my luck again. and since i knew this show was supposed to be way big, i was anticipating... way bigger tails?


also my confidence was bolstered by a an I SAW U in the Mercury from some guy wanting to know where to see the pictures i had taken of his tail, to which I responded via a missed connection post on craigslist, (cause like, i'm not about to fork over however many dollars to email someone back).

apparently this was a smooth move, because when i asked this kid jordan (whose tail picture is way foggy due to condensation from a million sweaty kids in the kitchen) if i could take a picture of his rat tail for my blog he was like "totally! i was just looking at that today and wondering why i wasn't on it!". i can only assume he followed the link in the missed connection post? SWEEET. next stop, business cards.

Jordan's Classic Rat
points for bleached ends and a high tail length/rest of hair length ratio



Inivisi-Tail
points for camouflaging with the neck and being the kind of tail you could totally take into a business meeting unnoticed



Rocky's Feathered Tail
points for overall length and impeccable straightness - a rare combo



A True Woodsmen's Tail
points for apparent softness, shine, and matching sideburns



Daniel's Two Tone Twist
again, points for bleached bits and overall flair



Sweepy Curly Dream Tail
this lady had the best tail of the night, hands down.
points for color and curls.



Also, seriously, why does everyone wear their tails to the right? Do left-handed people wear them to the left? What gives?